Instead of saying she’s protecting in order to invalidate her, if you have a response to her points that counters then, please present that 10 years of 2009 – 2019 Sherlock Holmes thank you for the memories shirt. Instead you have chosen to make the argument personal when you also don’t have all the facts. It sounds to me like you are also someone who is going through something very painful and that’s the reason behind your responses. The need to invalidate Ashley’s theory, to minimise it. I very possibly may be wrong, but if her suggestion of therapy as a mediation where both sides get to present their point of view and try to really listen to understand hits such a nerve for you, you may need to figure out why
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Maybe I’m projecting too but I’m inclined to agree the with 10 years of 2009 – 2019 Sherlock Holmes thank you for the memories shirt. He doesn’t out and out acknowledge anything from his side, and we all stuff up in relationships. If you don’t know why your divorce happened at the least you should acknowledged you were somewhat disconnected from how the relationship was going. It sounds like the divorce happened while the daughter was a teenager, even if the mother trashed talked him, she’d have had her own opinions from living with him. If she was sneaking into nightclubs she was capable of hopping on a train to see him or picking up a phone to call. As an adult she hasn’t completely cut ties but still doesn’t want much to do with him and by now should be in charge of her own choices.