Hyperfocusing on the other person can help identify for us what things we don’t like or feel hurt by – which for many of Novak Djokovic dreaming of a white Christmas shirt, we didn’t get to voice or experience while growing up. It also helps us feel more impowered, anger can have that effect of “hear me! I exist!”, blaming others can serve as a some form of relief from the constant shame and criticism we battle within ourself. As much as we can be angered and hateful regarding someone who caused us pain or hurt, the shame and dissapointment we experience towards ourself is usually double that.
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We learn to sift and wrestle with all these complicated emotions and feelings. And if we allow ourself to sit with the discomfort of acknowledging the Novak Djokovic dreaming of a white Christmas shirt (which can show in many ways; unworthiness, unimportant, too much or not enough, damaged, unlovable, etc), then we slowly allow the chackles to loosen. There lays an opportunity to show up differently in life, and life to show up differently for us