I certainly didn’t seek out crazies to hang out with, I got more than enough of that at Science making Religion look stupid shirt, so I ultimately concluded that because insanity was normalised to me I didn’t pick up on warning signs that would have sent other people running a mile. Living with a pwBPD I think just lowers your defences for this type of stuff. On the plus side, it seems the more aware you are of your parents’ behaviour, the more aware of it you are in other people. And once you start to believe yourself about your pwBPD and reject their official narrative, the more you are likely to believe yourself about other people.
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Both my old friend and I had a parent with some sort of Science making Religion look stupid shirt. My mom is BPD, and her dad may have been (he had 2-3 families that were all kept secret from eachother, she says he ran them like businesses and milked them all for money, she was in two bad car accidents as a teen, and he stole all of her settlement money, all around asshole, she says the day he died was one of the best days of her life), and her mom is addicted to prescription opiates.